Dogbutt blog post

I like that title. I only called it that because I don’t have anything to say, but have decided to post a blog a day until the end of the year, for new time’s sake. Plus dogbutt is one of my favorite words.

So if you’re reading this, you might as well stop, ‘cause I ain’t sayin’ nothin!

Thanks, though, kind of you to stop by. I hope to actually have something to say of some importance later, at least to me. And if I don’t, it won’t matter, I’ll still be posting daily until New Years.

Happy Holidays!

LWIII

Filed under: Words and Stuff | Posted on December 10th, 2010 by LWIII | 2 Comments »

The top secret doo-dad

Man, it’s been a long time since I blogged. I’ve been undercover, though, and it’s hard for me to blog when I have to hold back secrets. The muse gets skittish when not given full rein, at least mine does. Giddyup, Triggette!

I’m tweeting presently as a character in a Twitter movie, spending hours a day tweeting as someone I’m not. Sure does mess with your style. Now I find myself naturally falling into the style of that character, a colorful old man. It’s the old man thing that’s getting to me, because I’ve realized a lot of the things I say are like an old man already, like lordy or dearie.

Oh lordy (in a young way).

The movie is being written and cast and beginning some filming now. We had an outline, and while the rest of the gang began work on auditions, the website, the script, and soon the filming, I started tweeting, doing exactly what the protagonist does in the film. This the the story of the story, as it’s made, since we don’t know the final form of the script, it being only a synopsis so far.

Don’t know why I’m so set on it being a secret I’m doing this, or a partial one, since I am telling my friends it’s me. So if it’s okay my friends know I’m tweeting as whatshisname, why is it not okay for everybody else?

Don’t know exactly. I do know I want it to be as much like that guy as possible. Positive realage, fakewise. It’s great fun to write, very spontaneous and interactive. A combination of storytelling, acting, conversation,  twoetry, and doing the limbo. Did invent a language in my spare time: Twinglese. You just put ‘tw’ in front of everything. Ha. Twike twis, twy twonfused twiend. Tworry, twit twinda twucks, twas twa twanguage. But what the hey, sure was easy. Tolkien here I come!

Considerably easier to get under that limbo bar when it doesn’t exist.

Amazing how my writing experiences have prepared me for this role. It’s a lot like the letter game, except with tweets. And I do have a penchant for roleplaying, as in Wisdom Boy or Lone Wolf III.

This is nothing like writing by yourself. Much more collegial and friendly, a social forum. It’s a public performance artform, based on an outline, but much of the subplot of the story is being built up by interaction with other tweeters. They say something, then the character plays off that, and so the story is the result partly of chance or fate, which is kinda cool in this postmodern era.

Hello World!

LWIII

Filed under: Writing | Posted on August 10th, 2010 by LWIII | 5 Comments »

My Way

Done ‘er. The new site is up: The Word Doctor. Turn on your sound – unless you’re at work and don’t have headphones, in which case, nevermind.

This is something I’m not doing out of desperation, so it’s a new thing for me. I don’t really care that much if it succeeds or fails (though of course success would be preferable). That it exists is the success. I’m not making my living at it, so I don’t have to be official or anything in my new role as editor. And my ego is not at risk the way it is in real writing, so I’m down with that, too.

As a doctor of words my main focus is healing. Healing and loving: that is how I shall deal with the words I am dealt. Gently apply the magic elixir of love, attention, and hard work, and voila, happy healthy words.

I hope.

Here’s wishing my new venture all the luck in the world,

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on June 2nd, 2010 by LWIII | 8 Comments »

The thing about materialism

One problem I see with materialism is that it means there isn’t a reason for anything. If you’re sad take a pill, since the causes are immaterial. No need to query the reason, just fix the effect.

Can we not grow now?

Bummer,

LWIII

Filed under: Philosophical Brevities | Posted on May 23rd, 2010 by LWIII | 12 Comments »

What other people think

Presently going through another psychological healing process, as the latest go-around in my everquest to fix myself (or pay others to fix me). One of the really great things about it is that it’s only three sessions, based on deprogramming the amygdala. With Ray Lewis:

After the second session I had the most amazing experience: I remember sitting here in front of the computer doing something and thinking, “You know, I could give a fig for anything anybody ever thinks of me.” The feeling was awe-inspiring, one of total freedom, one that I had never felt before. I could do or say or be or think or want anything, anything at all, and there was nobody to stop me, no opinion that could ever hurt my brave cause.

The feeling didn’t last. Us low self-esteem types are dependent on the good opinions of others to gain any value at all, so I glommed back on to the ol’ please like me effect pretty quick. But it was cool while it lasted.

This morning I awoke from an ancient dream of desperate lack, and the old feeling of really, really, really caring what other people think of me was very strong. As I sat and pondered why, I realized it’s not truly other people I’m worried about – it’s the other people inside me. From infancy onward I’ve internalized the bad opinions of others, until I have a big crowd of bullies in there, browbeating me with great glee.

They have no existence, other than what I give them. Beware the others inside you.

Freedom forever!

LWIII

Filed under: Spirituality | Posted on May 10th, 2010 by LWIII | 9 Comments »

Atheists

I’ll put some words in some imaginary religious folks’ mouths:

“If you don’t love this book, the creator of the universe will burn you forever.”
“If you agree with me, God will like you.”
“Our group is the only group in history that has the truth.”
“Our truth is the only truth ever possible for all time.”
“Your beloved creator will torture you for eternity because you disagree with me.”

Little wonder to me some people want to be atheists. Staunch religionists practically drive them screaming to it.

But I wonder also at the appeal. Isn’t it better to not know?

We have two options, the universe can be something created by somebody for a reason; or it came into being non-causally, for no reason. Isn’t it better if there’s a reason? Just because established religions suck majorly is no proof that God, or a first cause with intent, doesn’t exist. It just shows that people are great with metaphors, except for the understanding that they’re metaphors part of it.

There is no proof that there is no Creator of the Universe. So why take the leap of faith to become an atheist, so you can revel in the joy of knowing there’s no reason for anything?

“Tra-la-tra-lay, how grand it is that everything is meaningless! The rush of endorphins through my cells at the thought almost make me feel as if I had a soul.”

The new thing is that an atheist is someone who doesn’t know for sure, but disagrees with established religions. That’s not an atheist, that’s agnostic. And you can’t be an “atheist/agnostic” like that one whiner with a website who drives the word atheist around like a big shiny pickup. If you don’t know, you’re not an atheist.

Show me some meaning, brother,

LWIII

Filed under: Words and Stuff | Posted on April 30th, 2010 by LWIII | 9 Comments »

The Ding Dong Effect

After a scientific study of several long and arduous minutes, I’ve decided to call it The Ding Dong Effect. What happens, that is, when one does the same thing over and over, continually. This Ding Dong thing doesn’t just happen to me, I figured, because other people talk about what happens when you say the same word over and over and over. It becomes meaningless, turns into a ringing in your head.

This effect is especially prevelant in computer work, amongst those called cubicle drones, doing things like renaming a bunch of files manually. The exact same keystrokes every time, with a slight variation at the end. I’ve been there and am there presently. Without the Ding Dong Effect, one could blaze through these tasks like a robot: Alt copy F2 enter select-all X plus paste and again! Easy, except you start getting confused if you do it fast a bunch in a row. It all becomes meaningless and you enter Ding Dong world.

A constant battle between will and wandering mind. Or you can go slow and take lots of breaks, which may not be an option in the workplace.

Do not boing the brain,

LWIII

Filed under: Life | Posted on April 29th, 2010 by LWIII | 2 Comments »

Another bad thing

Okay, bust out the silver lining patrol, here we go again. You know that thing I spent 200 hours busting my ass on? Well if I’d known what I was doing, I would have realized almost from the start that it wouldn’t work. A bad file, completely worthless. Those entire three hellish weeks were nothing but frustration practice.

Ha, thank goodness for humor. I just have to laugh. I’m such a fuck-up (excuse my British, if you don’t mind…sorry about the f-word and all but I am kinda peeved). It doesn’t bother me so much because Flash animation is not something I aspire to be good at, since that would be akin to a deep need to be a famous ballerina. But it was the culmination of a very large art project, and I had to do it. Or have to, actually, since I have to do it all over.

This time I’ll do it right and re-learn from a book exactly what and why I’m doing something, instead of trying a bunch of different stuff until something works. A long, laborious, and boring process, as well as not all that constructive, since I’ll forget it all soon enough, but not as long and boring as doing it thrice.

Plus it’s not impossible. If it was impossible I’d give it up, like I did being a novelist. Nope, it’s doable, unfortunately, so I have to go back and do it again.

The silver lining? If I hadn’t gone off on that fool’s errand, doomed from the start, I’d still be living in a pighole.

Oink,

LWIII

Filed under: Life | Posted on April 24th, 2010 by LWIII | 2 Comments »

At the left hand of God

I’ve been thinking lately (I know, I know, but can’t help myself) about that dream I had that my life’s purpose is to help support the feminine energy. What does that entail?

I think I need to help raise the Goddess back to her throne at the left hand of God. The zeitgeist of our time is leaning that direction, thank goodness, what with women’s liberation and all. Actually, come to think of it, the feminine and divine energies of the cosmos are not “the Goddess”, they are Goddess, the same way God is not “the God”.

So that puts me on the other side of the fence from masculinized religions, where God is always a boy. Just because girls can’t throw, I think.

So I’m here to say it doesn’t matter that girls can’t throw. They are still the living manifestation of Goddess, the Great Mother, She Who Rules Beloved at the Side of God.

Rock on, O Goddess,

LWIII

Filed under: Spirituality | Posted on April 23rd, 2010 by LWIII | 4 Comments »

A bad thing

Something bad happened the other day. And it happened over and over and over. There was nothing I could do to stop it.

You see, I was in the middle of creating the Flash animation for my new logo. The Word Doctor, but we won’t mention him. As a Flash master, I totally suck. You need to be organized and meticulous, at least a partial left-brainer, someone who can remember lots of stuff at once – hold several thoughts in your mind simultaneously so that all your settings are correct when you change something. You can’t just dash madly into the middle of crap the way I do, trying to get it over with, and start fiddling around in there. It’s strictly an A, B, C, kind of thing.

I’m a one-thought guy. Plus I have problems with backwards and forwards. A time would come when I had to move an image forward on the timeline in order to sync up with the sound. So I would go to the timeline and move my doodle. Then I would start up the demo reel and by golly I’d gone the wrong way! I did that a lot. Was that the sound too soon, or the movement? Darn if I could remember, a lot of the time.

So anyway, there’s probably a way in Flash to preview a small section of one’s animation, with sound, instead of the whole thing, but as a Flash hater it’s my job to not go look stuff up – not to mention that the help section blows, of course. I had to watch the whole thing up to where my change was happening, when I needed to go make sure I didn’t screw up again. It’s running at 36 frames per second, and to make something hit the mark exactly, you have to nail it to the 36th of a second, or very close. Takes a lot of concentration.

As I got towards the end, this became very wearing. It’s a 90-second animation, which may seem short to someone who never tried Flash before, but man…over and over and over and over…and over! Lordy.

Nearing the last I would have to sit here and watch that darn thing for almost a minute and a half before the part I was fixing came up. By that time, often enough I daydreamed off and ended up missing the part I was supposed to check. So I’d have to play it over again, again. Literally thousands of times. I’ve been spending 12 hours a day on this thing for two weeks now. Good thing I ain’t got a life. Hope the neighbors have earplugs.

Finally I got fed up. What to do, what to do? I noticed some dust on my desk and rose and snagged a Kleenex and wiped it off. I always hated dusting – as one could ever tell when entering my apartment. But boy, dusting was heaven compared to sitting here and watching that animation again, with those hellish sounds re-percolating like borborygmus of Satan Himself in my tormented, sizzling brain pan.

So next time, I dusted some more, then some more again. What a relief not to watch that screen for the bajillionth time. And, hey, it was looking pretty good in here. You know, it’s been awhile since I polished my oaken battleship of a desk…. So eventually I busted out some years-old furniture polish. Did my desk and the mission-style antique lamp thereupon. Man, this is kinda nice! Smells good too.

Long story short, I’m still not done with the animation (upgraded to the CS4 production suite and now all the timing is off…oops!) but I live inside the most beautiful space my imagination could devise. It’s amazing, I swear. Every wooden surface gleams with an inward glow. No dust anywhere. I even used that polish with Q-Tips on the wooden model of a Fokker triplane on my desk. And to top it all off, and the very best of all, I got rid of the old crappy books that were overstuffing my bookshelves and spilling over into piles on shelves and my beside bureau. Ten bagsworth to The Bookworm in Boulder. My book collection is now available completely, and I know where each delicious volume sits in its undusty organized splendor. Used to be hidden under old skin particles and inside two layers of halfassed books on the shelves. I sure had some crap self-help.

What a relief to get rid of those old used-up thoughts! They were clogging my brain.

Freshie,

LWIII

(oh yeah, the point of all this – you never know when something that sucks real bad is really good. And you can sure get a lot of dusting done in a minute. Who knew?)

Filed under: Life | Posted on April 12th, 2010 by LWIII | 8 Comments »

The thing about the thing

The thing that bugs me about the thing is that I only use it like once a year, so I have to relearn practically the whole darn thing every time. Plus I’m no natural at it, being way too prone to stargazing and talking people into pulling my finger to be much good at doing stuff like that.

Anyway, had to get that off my chest.

Fyi,

LWIII

Filed under: Life | Posted on April 1st, 2010 by LWIII | 8 Comments »

A soundtrack for my logo

Just finished the soundtrack. Boy that was fun. Real easy, compared to some software I’ve tried. Used Adobe Audition to mix the sound clips. Now all I have to do is sync it with the graphics in Flash.

Pretty cool my logo has a soundtrack to go with it. Even Wal-Mart can’t say that, those pikers. Guess they ain’t hit the bigtime yet, like me.

If you care for a listen, here it is: The Word Doctor

Squeee,

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on March 27th, 2010 by LWIII | 2 Comments »

The home stretch

Coming into the home stretch for birth of The Word Doctor. Sent off the artwork to my web guy Steven Bradley today, all except the Flash file of the logo. Got all my ducks in a row on the sound files for the animation.

My good pal Don Kraus (née Baron Figmar Munchmuffin, steaming buddy of Zoltar the Unruly One) is a theatre and indie film guy and he has this boffo collection of sound effects which he burned for me. The software with the index is for Windows 95, so I had to listen to all the files individually – which was a couple thousand or so, I imagine. But patience pays off. I have over 200 great sounds to mix into a funny soundtrack for my logo, if I need them. Only had to buy the umbrella sound from an online sound clip joint.

boing is an example, just to see what I mean. When I was searching those disks, I knew to go to the next one immediately if the sound effect didn’t resonate in my funnybone.

Sound wave on,

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on March 23rd, 2010 by LWIII | 0 Comments »

Shadows

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on March 18th, 2010 by LWIII | 4 Comments »

Painting with shadows

Just finished composing the background graphic to my new site. Now the hard part starts, lighting it. After I decided to go with the steampunk theme, I Google-imaged the crap out of steampunk sites, just to get a feel for the look. This is the pic I found that I wanted to use as my inspiration for the feel of the piece, the light in it, though hers is more organic, mine locomotive, one by hand, another by computer.

Wish I could credit the artist – or at least the site where I snagged it – but never thought I’d be using it again in public, just kept for the inspiration. Oh well, my bad. If anybody recognizes it please let me know, so I can credit the artist here.

I can credit this, since all the images except the boots were bought and paid for at Shutterstock. The boots are for walking on the wild side.

What I have to do now is to insert a light source and add shadows. It will be like painting with shadows instead of light. Darkness is drama, and shade mystery. The black gradient is my new best friend.

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on March 13th, 2010 by LWIII | 6 Comments »

The power of ignoring

Today we discuss attention. Paying attention. For our purposes we will define attention as energy. The Dog Whisperer has taught me that. Energy alone does exist. It’s not a physical manifestation, yet there is actual measurable energy, a vibration, a feeling-tone, or something that is real.

Attention – paying attention – is bringing more energy to whatever you are attending closely. Thus, one of my few finely-honed skills (ignoring stuff) can be shown to have value.

Some things you don’t want to have more energy. Cool, just ignore ‘em. Put your attention on something you want to become more energized.

Ignore-ance is bliss,

LWIII

Filed under: Philosophical Brevities | Posted on March 1st, 2010 by LWIII | 15 Comments »

The Word Doctor is IN

Well, it’s official. I have a logo now, so it must be. There’s a new doctor in Wordtown. I may not have hung out my shingle yet, but it’s been carved and polished. The process has begun.

This logo is the kind of thing that has to be done by someone with a lot of time on their hands, but it tells the story of our fair doctor as only words can do, with some help from an umbrella, of course, since the visual theme of my new writing and editing website (www.wyrddoctor.com) is steampunk – and an umbrella is Victorian if not in nature, then in nostalgia. 

I don’t have much done on the site except registering the domain and making this logo in Photoshop. Plus some ideas and our slogan, “We make it better!” It sure was a lot easier to come up with the logo idea than it was to make. Didn’t realize it would run over half a minute. That’s why I’m not so keen on conceptual artists: “I had a idea, now pay me.” Sheesh.

At this size it’s over 400k, which is not good, though may be okay with present connection speeds. It’s only 8 colors, and still that big. Ouch. 125 frames, fyi. I’ve set this version of the gif to pause for 30 seconds, since it should be stopped for almost as long as it runs, or it will probably drive you crazy. One play only on the actual site.

Ever a friend to the word,

LWIII

Filed under: The Word Doctor | Posted on February 22nd, 2010 by LWIII | 16 Comments »

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