Lachrymosia
I have a problem. It started when I was 8. A bunch of us kids were gathered at Grandmother’s house listening to the neighbor girl tell a ghost story. For some reason when she got to the tense, scary part, my eyes started tearing up. That had never happened before and it kind of weirded me out. But I remember afterward on the porch telling a couple of my buddies, “Hey look, I can cry whenever I want!” And somehow, either by remembering the feeling of the ghost story or something (I can’t do it anymore) I could get tears to come to my eyes and run down my face. Kind of like being able to burp or – the ultimate – fart on command.
For a while I enjoyed my miniature fame as a sort of eyeball magician, the lone guy in our small circle who could make tears run out of his eyes whenever he wanted. But then, to my horror, I found it was becoming involuntary. Oh no! I started to tear up merely when I was talking to someone. O lordy, let it not be so. But it was so. I couldn’t stop it.
That was the beginning, and that ghost story has haunted me the rest of my life. Ever since then, whenever I speak feelingly about any subject to anyone, tears start to my eyes, and if I talk long enough and strong enough, they run down my face.
Eek! One reason I joined Scientology in my early twenties was my hope that they could cure this damnable curse. My dream was that they’d say, “Oh yeah, that’s XXX, all you have to do is YYY and it’ll ZZZ.” But no, no ideas, no name, and no cure. And all of my army of therapists (oh, okay, squad) were let in on the secret, and my other cults. Nobody had ever heard of such a complaint, or had a cure for it.
So I call it lachrymosia, for lack of a better, or an actual, word. Never underestimate the value of not crying when you’re talking to somebody, especially when you’re asking them out, or in a job interview, or manning up with your buddies about football or golf, or cracking wise, or trying not to make your interlocutor abashed and uneasy.
Waaaa,
LWIII
tears lubiricate our soul
as they flush the day out of the eye
don’t even get me started on how
many checmical things tears bring
Ethanol?
Thanks L.J.!
I never know whether to laugh or to cry when I read your posts. Excuse me while I blow my nose. And: you’re a hoot.
Hey, Winslow! Well I’ll be hornswoggled and hogtied. I never knew you read my posts. I feel very honored, thank you. I’m with you on the crying/laughing deal. Darn confusion, anyway. My main theory is: everything will turn out okay in the end.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Tom Howe, Pamala. Pamala said: @TomYHowe It is my understanding that "Lachrymosia" is not a real problem http://bit.ly/5f04oR particularly for men, my friend. *smiles* [...]
I glad reading your blog post. Thank for provide nice information.
You’re welcome Oliver, thanks for reading!
I had a similar thing for about 30 years, I could cry at the drop of a handkerchief. Sad movies would leave me shattered. After watching The Piano, I had to crawl out of the cinema and hide in my car for 30 minutes in shock, crying, crying, crying. I could be at a dinner party and half way through the evening I’d have to go to the bathroom and silently cry for ten minutes in one of the cubicles.
Luckily I finally found a cure, TheReleaseEffect dot com
It seems that the problem was not from the rational cortex, but moreso from the emotional brain, and in particular, probably the amygdala. I also spent years and thousands of dollars on therapies and self help books to try and dissolve this overwhelming sadness and all of the apporaches worked but only while I was doing the ritual, whether that be reading something, chanting, meditating etc etc etc, but sooner than later, the feeling would trigger again and again, until TheReleaseEffect, I hope it helps many others as well.
Thank you rastas, it is similar, though doesn’t sound like exactly the same problem. That really is awesome if you found a cure!
Oh man, it’s time to get on board the EFT train!
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique. It’s basically a combination of acupuncture (without the needles) and psychotherapy. It’s very simple to do on yourself and you’ll probably have results within a few minutes.
http://www.emofree.com
Thanks jsab. I tried that once, with no effect, though not real religiously. But I sure appreciate all offers of advice on this annoying habit. Appreciate it!
I have been a crier all my life, but in the last four years, it has been, as you described, an unwelcome visitor at inappropriate times. Bane, thorn in my side, curse!! At my desk at work, gulping down emotions to answer phone, etc, supermarket shopping, please ground open up and swallow me, these public wellings are horrible! Lately I’ve been looking into Empaths, one of the traits being that they absorb other people’s energies, and can be released later, not necessarily at the time of absorption. Have you ever seen the scene in ‘The Green Mile’ where that guy releases all the bees after inhaling the disease out of the sick wife of the Governor? Sometimes i have crying hours at home, my release. The only thing i would say to you is to try and appreciate that you CAN cry, there are many people who can’t.
Very much enjoying your blog Tom.
~Lily
Fellow public weller, thank you. We do have it pretty cushy on the being able to cry front, I guess. It’s hard for people to understand what I’m talking about, though. Mine isnt’ sad crying. It has no visible link to any particular emotional state, except a buried one. I flow when I talk to people. It’s only during talking, regardless of my feelings.
xoxo!
‘buried’ — not sad, this vehicle of tears has it’s own driver/crusader [as we give our hurried excuses amid incoming mind-traffic of hitting potholes, jackknifing trailers, going over cliffs] xo!
!
At least you know when you’re telling the truth! An odd advantage many don’t have
Ditto on what Winslow said!
Once again, it occurs to me what a great trait this would be in a novel’s protagonist or side-character. His shrink could even coin the term “Lachrymosia” and write a paper on it, making it a condition people would start to understand. Who knows? You might find a host of fans who identify with the condition & start a whole new thing in the realm of psychology!
Again I find myself wishing that I knew you in person, Tom! It would be great to know for sure when you were speaking your heart. (I think I sense it when you write, btw
Namaste & Good Luck!
Claire
Hey Claire, thanks for the comment! Lachrymosia has the same effect when you’re lying or telling the truth, being fake or real, so that ain’t a byproduct. It’s just a matter of intensity of expression and feeling. Appreciate the ideas, though!
Good luck to both of us!
xoxo