Just discovered the secret to eternal life. Ponce de Leon was looking in the wrong place.

If you want to live forever just spend your whole life in the dentist’s chair. Ta da! Eternal life.

Oh okay, maybe not eternal, but it sure would feel that way. According to the calculations undertaken by yours truly at my teeth cleaning this morning, it would actually feel roughly two-thirds longer than eternity.

And, were one a personage of discernment, after a few aeons in the chair, you might not gaze on eternity with such a wistful eye. You might start to say: you know, half of eternity might not be so bad. Let’s try that.

Your eternal optimist,

LWIII